Blogging from the office today..

When I am conscious about my work, I wonder sometimes what other people I knew throughout my life are doing now. Childhood friends mostly. I always build a story for each one of them. Regardless of all the sorrows which memories may cause, they always make me smile.

But since the last assassination took place in Beirut I feel so estranged. Lost the sense of belonging. Even the memories mean nothing anymore. And all the songs we sing for Beirut and Lebanon and love and tolerance are not even worth the ink they were written with. Even those who sing them cannot understand, much less apply, what they mean.

Only songs of LOSS make sense. And this old Arabic song echoes in my heart, saying

"Mitgharrabeen i7na,
Tigree sineen wihna,
gar7 sineen...
Ma 7ad 2al 3anna,
khabar yfarra7na,
wa la 7ad gab minna,
kilma tirayya7na..."

Watching the news and seeing what is happening in the world makes it look like a big puzzle, with kids all around fighting for every piece. And eventually tearing the whole thing. And later blaming each other for what happened.
Nobody ever thinks they may have made a mistake. It is always others.

The ironic part is, although I am watching this fight happen over the puzzle; I am a piece in this puzzle. And I am being torn too.
I feel I am supposed to do something.
But it is during moments like this when people become aware of their weakness.