E-Courage !

Most of what I see these days on facebook is posts related to the so called "Arab Spring". Those of my friends who know me well, know that I detest "undisciplined enthusiasm" in any field of life. I prefer planning (even planning not to plan is fine with me). Yes, I do believe that most political systems in Arab countries are rotten and need to be changed. Yes, I know that people suffer from poverty and discrimination and FEAR. I am not an enemy of the people. In fact, I want the people to be free and to enjoy equal rights to education, healthcare, voting, etc.. And I also support their right to read more and have faster internet access so they can educate themselves on ethics too.

But what I hate about this Arab Spring is that in its aftermath in each country, people are starting to hate each other. For the first time, people have the right to say their opinions out loud. A free opinion after long long years of oppression. So what would we expect? Most of the time it is a non-civilized hate speech fuelled by propaganda and political interests.

In Lebanon, the conflict in Syria adds to the internal tension between right and left. Most of the people -not all- in Sunni and Shiite sects follow their leaders points of view for obvious reasons: It is the interest of your sect or your party/militia/political group. If their interest is the survival of the regime in Syria, you adopt the side of the regime in Syria. A set of propagandistic explanations is ready for everything that's happening. If the sect/political interest is against the regime in Syria, you state your blunt hatred towards the regime in Syria and you have a set of propagandistic explanations ready for everything that's happening.

Another sad thing is that the political interest for those WITH the regime in Bahrain is with those AGAINST the regime in Syria. And people say flat out that they support one of these "revolutions" but not the other, when it is clear that both revolutions are very similar.

The struggle in both countries is multi-faceted and very dirty. Interests of loads of countries intertwine in these conflicts. Those who believe that no foreign interference happened in Bahrain and no foreign interference happened in Syria are plain idiots. Those who deny that people in both countries are suffering under their current leadership and that they could be offered better lives are also idiots.

I am an artist. I have nothing to do with political interests or sectarian interests. But I despise double standards. Particularly when they have to deal with human life.

The title of this post is inspired by posts on facebook and twitter. Most of the "revolutionaries" with and against the Syrian Regime on my facebook friend list and twitter feed, do not live in Syria. But they are very devout pro and anti regime, with dirty non civilized words and all. And I want to salute their E-courage. They have no brothers to die on the streets in Syria (afaik) and they have never lived in Syria long eough and probably never will, to decide if the Syrian people want their political system or not.

Last but not least, I am very sad that things in Syria now seem to have gone out of control and nobody wants to talk to anybody anymore. I wish the least number of mothers lose sons in these sad events. And I hope the conflict ends with more freedom for the Syrian people, regardless of their religions and sects or lack thereof.

Nostalgia? The Opposite

I am just free writing now because I prefer writing than sleeping.

I am happy that I found refuge at Younes to write three days a week. It feels good. The crowd of serious artists who work at that cafe is inspiring and very supportive, even when you don't know any of them.

Last time I was re-writing my documentary proposal and listening to some music of Le Trio Joubran.
Tomorrow I better be able to move on with "Shadow of a Man". The re-write has been giving me a hard time, although I can feel that the finished new draft will be much better than whatever drafts I had earlier.

I asked Ahmad what was the title of the song he used in his documentary about his father, and he said "Zalamo" by Abdel Halim. I downloaded the song and started listening to it over and over and over. And now I am listening to it for the sixth or seventh time today at least. It speaks to me. I also keep remembering Ahmad's film when the bit that he used plays. It was very powerful. Mostly because it is about his father. And we all have fathers that we think or wish are the best fathers ever.

Ahmad's film was very funny on the outside. You laugh while you see and hear, but your heart cries. And the question that I know nobody can answer is why? Why did we have to suffer war and migration?

We were kids. Ahmad and I are both born in 1980. We are both filmmakers. We both have very sensitive, dare I say scarred, interiors and very cool artsy exteriors. Ahmad's father is not like my father. But Ahmad's story is my story. The story of every child who was unlucky to open their eyes and be welcomed to a place destined to war and hatred.

Lately, I've been very sensitive to this issue of hatred in Lebanon. I hate hatred. Does that make sense as a sentence? Do I have the right to hate hatred and then use the word "hate"? Point is, lots of stupid conflicts happen between sunnis and shiites. I don't know why can't people regard each other as human beings in this country, regardless of sects and religions. Why do all the Lebanese people become so civil outside the country and when we are in our own country we become brainwashed numbers who are willing to do good only for the good of the party or the sect or the leader?

This de-soul-ization irritates me. I keep telling myself I want to get out of here. It is very sad. I, most of all people, realize how sad it is for Lebanese youth who love peace to leave the country. But the country doesn't help. The people don't help. Nothing helps. And when you're all about peace and love in a place where people don't give a damn, you get tired at the end. If they don't care why should you care. Do they deserve your time and effort? They probably won't learn till something bad happens to them. But, wait a second, bad things have been happening. They keep happening over and over again and these people won't stop. It is a vicious cycle. War is a drug. It is addictive for those who benefit from it.

I don't like living in a war zone. It helps me indeed as an artist because it keeps my wound fresh and oozing, but as a human being it gnaws on my heart and mind. When I was writing my proposal for the documentary yesterday at Younes I thought that those in mass denial are blessed. They directly stopped talking about everything and put it behind them. On the surface, at least, they forgot. They managed to move on while it keeps consuming me all the time.

I would never want to bring kids to live in a war zone. I don't know if people in the middle of a war in the 80s had the time and consciousness to worry about this in the first place.

But for now I am sleepy, so I'll just hope to have a safe night for you and me :)

We're Not Interested in Happy People !

This is something I've been thinking about for about 36 hours now.

Yesterday, I was at LAU with Lina when somebody said something about stories. And of course, my ears went to high alert. The young woman was saying that most of the good books she was reading were sad or depressing so she had stopped reading for the most part. And Lina said, "Oh, nobody is interested in happy people stories. We want sad stories." And I thought, yes. Why aren't we interested in happy people stories? Are they so common that we don't see anything interesting about them? Or are they so rare that we cannot identify with them anymore?

The "news" formula, that happy stories don't make it to news headlines is understandable. These are news items.

But "story" principles dictate that people need to be able to identify with the characters so they can go through their emotional journey with them.

And then my mind started working mathematically;

If most people are happy, then happy stories will be boring indeed.
If most people are sad, then people should enjoy happy stories.
But most people being sad, means that happy stories should make it to news bulletins because this becomes news.
Therefore most people are happy.



I don't know if what I wrote makes sense at all. So I'll just hit the publish button and come back to these thoughts later !