O Allah! Possessor of the kingdom, You give the kingdom to whom You will, and You take the kingdom from whom You will, and You endue with honor whom You will, and You humiliate whom You will. In Your Hand is the good. Verily, You are Able to do all things. You make the night to enter into the day, and You make the day to enter into the night, You bring the living out of the dead, and You bring the dead out of the living. And You give wealth and sustenance to whom You will, without limit.' [Soorah aal-Imran (3): 26-27]
"I came like water, and like wind I go" Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Friday, December 09, 2011
E-Courage !
Most of what I see these days on facebook is posts related to the so called "Arab Spring". Those of my friends who know me well, know that I detest "undisciplined enthusiasm" in any field of life. I prefer planning (even planning not to plan is fine with me). Yes, I do believe that most political systems in Arab countries are rotten and need to be changed. Yes, I know that people suffer from poverty and discrimination and FEAR. I am not an enemy of the people. In fact, I want the people to be free and to enjoy equal rights to education, healthcare, voting, etc.. And I also support their right to read more and have faster internet access so they can educate themselves on ethics too.
But what I hate about this Arab Spring is that in its aftermath in each country, people are starting to hate each other. For the first time, people have the right to say their opinions out loud. A free opinion after long long years of oppression. So what would we expect? Most of the time it is a non-civilized hate speech fuelled by propaganda and political interests.
In Lebanon, the conflict in Syria adds to the internal tension between right and left. Most of the people -not all- in Sunni and Shiite sects follow their leaders points of view for obvious reasons: It is the interest of your sect or your party/militia/political group. If their interest is the survival of the regime in Syria, you adopt the side of the regime in Syria. A set of propagandistic explanations is ready for everything that's happening. If the sect/political interest is against the regime in Syria, you state your blunt hatred towards the regime in Syria and you have a set of propagandistic explanations ready for everything that's happening.
Another sad thing is that the political interest for those WITH the regime in Bahrain is with those AGAINST the regime in Syria. And people say flat out that they support one of these "revolutions" but not the other, when it is clear that both revolutions are very similar.
The struggle in both countries is multi-faceted and very dirty. Interests of loads of countries intertwine in these conflicts. Those who believe that no foreign interference happened in Bahrain and no foreign interference happened in Syria are plain idiots. Those who deny that people in both countries are suffering under their current leadership and that they could be offered better lives are also idiots.
I am an artist. I have nothing to do with political interests or sectarian interests. But I despise double standards. Particularly when they have to deal with human life.
The title of this post is inspired by posts on facebook and twitter. Most of the "revolutionaries" with and against the Syrian Regime on my facebook friend list and twitter feed, do not live in Syria. But they are very devout pro and anti regime, with dirty non civilized words and all. And I want to salute their E-courage. They have no brothers to die on the streets in Syria (afaik) and they have never lived in Syria long eough and probably never will, to decide if the Syrian people want their political system or not.
Last but not least, I am very sad that things in Syria now seem to have gone out of control and nobody wants to talk to anybody anymore. I wish the least number of mothers lose sons in these sad events. And I hope the conflict ends with more freedom for the Syrian people, regardless of their religions and sects or lack thereof.
But what I hate about this Arab Spring is that in its aftermath in each country, people are starting to hate each other. For the first time, people have the right to say their opinions out loud. A free opinion after long long years of oppression. So what would we expect? Most of the time it is a non-civilized hate speech fuelled by propaganda and political interests.
In Lebanon, the conflict in Syria adds to the internal tension between right and left. Most of the people -not all- in Sunni and Shiite sects follow their leaders points of view for obvious reasons: It is the interest of your sect or your party/militia/political group. If their interest is the survival of the regime in Syria, you adopt the side of the regime in Syria. A set of propagandistic explanations is ready for everything that's happening. If the sect/political interest is against the regime in Syria, you state your blunt hatred towards the regime in Syria and you have a set of propagandistic explanations ready for everything that's happening.
Another sad thing is that the political interest for those WITH the regime in Bahrain is with those AGAINST the regime in Syria. And people say flat out that they support one of these "revolutions" but not the other, when it is clear that both revolutions are very similar.
The struggle in both countries is multi-faceted and very dirty. Interests of loads of countries intertwine in these conflicts. Those who believe that no foreign interference happened in Bahrain and no foreign interference happened in Syria are plain idiots. Those who deny that people in both countries are suffering under their current leadership and that they could be offered better lives are also idiots.
I am an artist. I have nothing to do with political interests or sectarian interests. But I despise double standards. Particularly when they have to deal with human life.
The title of this post is inspired by posts on facebook and twitter. Most of the "revolutionaries" with and against the Syrian Regime on my facebook friend list and twitter feed, do not live in Syria. But they are very devout pro and anti regime, with dirty non civilized words and all. And I want to salute their E-courage. They have no brothers to die on the streets in Syria (afaik) and they have never lived in Syria long eough and probably never will, to decide if the Syrian people want their political system or not.
Last but not least, I am very sad that things in Syria now seem to have gone out of control and nobody wants to talk to anybody anymore. I wish the least number of mothers lose sons in these sad events. And I hope the conflict ends with more freedom for the Syrian people, regardless of their religions and sects or lack thereof.
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Nostalgia? The Opposite
I am just free writing now because I prefer writing than sleeping.
I am happy that I found refuge at Younes to write three days a week. It feels good. The crowd of serious artists who work at that cafe is inspiring and very supportive, even when you don't know any of them.
Last time I was re-writing my documentary proposal and listening to some music of Le Trio Joubran.
Tomorrow I better be able to move on with "Shadow of a Man". The re-write has been giving me a hard time, although I can feel that the finished new draft will be much better than whatever drafts I had earlier.
I asked Ahmad what was the title of the song he used in his documentary about his father, and he said "Zalamo" by Abdel Halim. I downloaded the song and started listening to it over and over and over. And now I am listening to it for the sixth or seventh time today at least. It speaks to me. I also keep remembering Ahmad's film when the bit that he used plays. It was very powerful. Mostly because it is about his father. And we all have fathers that we think or wish are the best fathers ever.
Ahmad's film was very funny on the outside. You laugh while you see and hear, but your heart cries. And the question that I know nobody can answer is why? Why did we have to suffer war and migration?
We were kids. Ahmad and I are both born in 1980. We are both filmmakers. We both have very sensitive, dare I say scarred, interiors and very cool artsy exteriors. Ahmad's father is not like my father. But Ahmad's story is my story. The story of every child who was unlucky to open their eyes and be welcomed to a place destined to war and hatred.
Lately, I've been very sensitive to this issue of hatred in Lebanon. I hate hatred. Does that make sense as a sentence? Do I have the right to hate hatred and then use the word "hate"? Point is, lots of stupid conflicts happen between sunnis and shiites. I don't know why can't people regard each other as human beings in this country, regardless of sects and religions. Why do all the Lebanese people become so civil outside the country and when we are in our own country we become brainwashed numbers who are willing to do good only for the good of the party or the sect or the leader?
This de-soul-ization irritates me. I keep telling myself I want to get out of here. It is very sad. I, most of all people, realize how sad it is for Lebanese youth who love peace to leave the country. But the country doesn't help. The people don't help. Nothing helps. And when you're all about peace and love in a place where people don't give a damn, you get tired at the end. If they don't care why should you care. Do they deserve your time and effort? They probably won't learn till something bad happens to them. But, wait a second, bad things have been happening. They keep happening over and over again and these people won't stop. It is a vicious cycle. War is a drug. It is addictive for those who benefit from it.
I don't like living in a war zone. It helps me indeed as an artist because it keeps my wound fresh and oozing, but as a human being it gnaws on my heart and mind. When I was writing my proposal for the documentary yesterday at Younes I thought that those in mass denial are blessed. They directly stopped talking about everything and put it behind them. On the surface, at least, they forgot. They managed to move on while it keeps consuming me all the time.
I would never want to bring kids to live in a war zone. I don't know if people in the middle of a war in the 80s had the time and consciousness to worry about this in the first place.
But for now I am sleepy, so I'll just hope to have a safe night for you and me :)
I am happy that I found refuge at Younes to write three days a week. It feels good. The crowd of serious artists who work at that cafe is inspiring and very supportive, even when you don't know any of them.
Last time I was re-writing my documentary proposal and listening to some music of Le Trio Joubran.
Tomorrow I better be able to move on with "Shadow of a Man". The re-write has been giving me a hard time, although I can feel that the finished new draft will be much better than whatever drafts I had earlier.
I asked Ahmad what was the title of the song he used in his documentary about his father, and he said "Zalamo" by Abdel Halim. I downloaded the song and started listening to it over and over and over. And now I am listening to it for the sixth or seventh time today at least. It speaks to me. I also keep remembering Ahmad's film when the bit that he used plays. It was very powerful. Mostly because it is about his father. And we all have fathers that we think or wish are the best fathers ever.
Ahmad's film was very funny on the outside. You laugh while you see and hear, but your heart cries. And the question that I know nobody can answer is why? Why did we have to suffer war and migration?
We were kids. Ahmad and I are both born in 1980. We are both filmmakers. We both have very sensitive, dare I say scarred, interiors and very cool artsy exteriors. Ahmad's father is not like my father. But Ahmad's story is my story. The story of every child who was unlucky to open their eyes and be welcomed to a place destined to war and hatred.
Lately, I've been very sensitive to this issue of hatred in Lebanon. I hate hatred. Does that make sense as a sentence? Do I have the right to hate hatred and then use the word "hate"? Point is, lots of stupid conflicts happen between sunnis and shiites. I don't know why can't people regard each other as human beings in this country, regardless of sects and religions. Why do all the Lebanese people become so civil outside the country and when we are in our own country we become brainwashed numbers who are willing to do good only for the good of the party or the sect or the leader?
This de-soul-ization irritates me. I keep telling myself I want to get out of here. It is very sad. I, most of all people, realize how sad it is for Lebanese youth who love peace to leave the country. But the country doesn't help. The people don't help. Nothing helps. And when you're all about peace and love in a place where people don't give a damn, you get tired at the end. If they don't care why should you care. Do they deserve your time and effort? They probably won't learn till something bad happens to them. But, wait a second, bad things have been happening. They keep happening over and over again and these people won't stop. It is a vicious cycle. War is a drug. It is addictive for those who benefit from it.
I don't like living in a war zone. It helps me indeed as an artist because it keeps my wound fresh and oozing, but as a human being it gnaws on my heart and mind. When I was writing my proposal for the documentary yesterday at Younes I thought that those in mass denial are blessed. They directly stopped talking about everything and put it behind them. On the surface, at least, they forgot. They managed to move on while it keeps consuming me all the time.
I would never want to bring kids to live in a war zone. I don't know if people in the middle of a war in the 80s had the time and consciousness to worry about this in the first place.
But for now I am sleepy, so I'll just hope to have a safe night for you and me :)
Thursday, December 01, 2011
We're Not Interested in Happy People !
This is something I've been thinking about for about 36 hours now.
Yesterday, I was at LAU with Lina when somebody said something about stories. And of course, my ears went to high alert. The young woman was saying that most of the good books she was reading were sad or depressing so she had stopped reading for the most part. And Lina said, "Oh, nobody is interested in happy people stories. We want sad stories." And I thought, yes. Why aren't we interested in happy people stories? Are they so common that we don't see anything interesting about them? Or are they so rare that we cannot identify with them anymore?
The "news" formula, that happy stories don't make it to news headlines is understandable. These are news items.
But "story" principles dictate that people need to be able to identify with the characters so they can go through their emotional journey with them.
And then my mind started working mathematically;
If most people are happy, then happy stories will be boring indeed.
If most people are sad, then people should enjoy happy stories.
But most people being sad, means that happy stories should make it to news bulletins because this becomes news.
Therefore most people are happy.
I don't know if what I wrote makes sense at all. So I'll just hit the publish button and come back to these thoughts later !
Yesterday, I was at LAU with Lina when somebody said something about stories. And of course, my ears went to high alert. The young woman was saying that most of the good books she was reading were sad or depressing so she had stopped reading for the most part. And Lina said, "Oh, nobody is interested in happy people stories. We want sad stories." And I thought, yes. Why aren't we interested in happy people stories? Are they so common that we don't see anything interesting about them? Or are they so rare that we cannot identify with them anymore?
The "news" formula, that happy stories don't make it to news headlines is understandable. These are news items.
But "story" principles dictate that people need to be able to identify with the characters so they can go through their emotional journey with them.
And then my mind started working mathematically;
If most people are happy, then happy stories will be boring indeed.
If most people are sad, then people should enjoy happy stories.
But most people being sad, means that happy stories should make it to news bulletins because this becomes news.
Therefore most people are happy.
I don't know if what I wrote makes sense at all. So I'll just hit the publish button and come back to these thoughts later !
Monday, November 21, 2011
While Teta Was Away...
I wrote the note below on Wednesday, November 3rd, 2011 at the American University Hospital in Beirut.
"Teta is probably lying down for the last time before she departs to another place. I am scared. Is it because I am writing a film about life and death? But I am not rejecting death in my film. I am simply trying to rejoice life. I miss my baby. At these moments I feel so weak and I so hope we could be together. Teta is sleeping. I wonder where she is now. What is she thinking and feeling. Several people have gathered in this CCU. Coronary Care Unit. Some are happy and conversing as if nothing is wrong. They are probably trying to distract themselves. Or I thought they thought someone was in a very bad situation but they found out they'll be ok. And now I am thinking the angel of death sometimes is too busy. He says keep this person in the hospital I will come for them later. And now he's gonna pass by. Maybe he's dressed as a hospital worker. Maybe as a doctor. I don't know. Maybe I can't see him because I am human and he is an angel. This is so bizarre."
Teta passed away on Thursday, November 4th, 2011 at the American University Hospital in Beirut.
"Teta is probably lying down for the last time before she departs to another place. I am scared. Is it because I am writing a film about life and death? But I am not rejecting death in my film. I am simply trying to rejoice life. I miss my baby. At these moments I feel so weak and I so hope we could be together. Teta is sleeping. I wonder where she is now. What is she thinking and feeling. Several people have gathered in this CCU. Coronary Care Unit. Some are happy and conversing as if nothing is wrong. They are probably trying to distract themselves. Or I thought they thought someone was in a very bad situation but they found out they'll be ok. And now I am thinking the angel of death sometimes is too busy. He says keep this person in the hospital I will come for them later. And now he's gonna pass by. Maybe he's dressed as a hospital worker. Maybe as a doctor. I don't know. Maybe I can't see him because I am human and he is an angel. This is so bizarre."
Teta passed away on Thursday, November 4th, 2011 at the American University Hospital in Beirut.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
A Leaf in the Wind
In the darkness, where knowledge fades, and the human mind sinks, my Grandma became a piece of paper hanging on the walls.
She then became a piece of paper that the wind left dangling on the walls of buildings. Then some kids wiped the papers away. Tore them apart. Threw them on the floor and stepped on them.
In the darkness, with the sun shining, I walked up the street towards Teta's house and asked her, "where are you now?" and no one answered. What did you do? Did you leave to a better place and leave us in this shit hole? You broke Jiddi's heart. His sadness is so intense I can hear it over the phone. You ruined our Eid.
In the darkness, in the bit where anger lives, I am mad at you and happy for you. I am happy because you deserve the rest that you finally set for. And I am mad because you left my mother and my grandfather. And now he is like an orphaned kid. He cries all the time and says you were snatched away from him all of a sudden. He probably wanted to say some things to you. What things are left unsaid to those who leave? And what would a person who is leaving say? To those we love, we say I love you. And to those we don't, we say nothing is worth it.
In the darkness, I meditate. Somebody asked if Aunt Soad doesn't talk anymore. "To say what?" I replied in silence. "To say what? You idiot." I told her without speaking. Live your life in silence and DO. It is better a thousand times.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Useful Links to Film & Screenwriting Related Websites
I compiled a list of useful resources off my twitter followings and daily/weekly browsing, in no particular order.
British Film Institute
7D Labs: For Canon EOS 7D DSLR Enthusiasts and Filmmakers
Film and Festivals Magazine
Sundance Institute and the Sundance Film Festival
Film Funding Club: articles, events, and other film funding material
Withoutabox: Huge database for Film Festival submissions and entries
Cinema School founded by Robert Shutter
Script Magazine contributor, Screenwriter
MedFilmFactory: Professional training for Arab Film Producers and Directors
Scott Myers website
WORDPLAY: Pro screenwriting secrets from working screenwriters Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio
Scribomatic: Latest posts from Screenwriting Blogs
PDF Scripts! Lots of them
ScreenwritingU: Advanced and Professional Screenwriting Advice
Script Magazine: Top Screenwriting/Film Publication published by Final Draft, Inc.
Blog: news, insight, and articles for screenwriters in los angeles and around the world
Creative Screenwriting Magazine: The other screenwriting magazine.
Tribeca Institute and Film Festival
indieWIRE: News and Info for the Independent Film Community
The Script Lab: Comprehensive Screenwriting Resource
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
ImageNation Abu Dhabi
MAISHA Film Labs: Training for (mainly) East African Filmmakers
Guide to Shooting Locations Worldwide
Errol Morris
David Lynch
Michael Moore
Leading Independent Documentary Community
Abu Dhabi Film Commission
Unknown Screenwriter/Producer
Doha Film Institute
Asia-On-Screen: A project to bring the best East Asian Cinema
Screen International
Screenwriter Resources
Docs in Progress, Documentary Community
Screenwriting Resources
Best Screenplays NEVER Made
International Screenwriters' Association
The Infamous Drew's Script-O-Rama
British Film Institute
7D Labs: For Canon EOS 7D DSLR Enthusiasts and Filmmakers
Film and Festivals Magazine
Sundance Institute and the Sundance Film Festival
Film Funding Club: articles, events, and other film funding material
Withoutabox: Huge database for Film Festival submissions and entries
Cinema School founded by Robert Shutter
Script Magazine contributor, Screenwriter
MedFilmFactory: Professional training for Arab Film Producers and Directors
Scott Myers website
WORDPLAY: Pro screenwriting secrets from working screenwriters Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio
Scribomatic: Latest posts from Screenwriting Blogs
PDF Scripts! Lots of them
ScreenwritingU: Advanced and Professional Screenwriting Advice
Script Magazine: Top Screenwriting/Film Publication published by Final Draft, Inc.
Blog: news, insight, and articles for screenwriters in los angeles and around the world
Creative Screenwriting Magazine: The other screenwriting magazine.
Tribeca Institute and Film Festival
indieWIRE: News and Info for the Independent Film Community
The Script Lab: Comprehensive Screenwriting Resource
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
ImageNation Abu Dhabi
MAISHA Film Labs: Training for (mainly) East African Filmmakers
Guide to Shooting Locations Worldwide
Errol Morris
David Lynch
Michael Moore
Leading Independent Documentary Community
Abu Dhabi Film Commission
Unknown Screenwriter/Producer
Doha Film Institute
Asia-On-Screen: A project to bring the best East Asian Cinema
Screen International
Screenwriter Resources
Docs in Progress, Documentary Community
Screenwriting Resources
Best Screenplays NEVER Made
International Screenwriters' Association
The Infamous Drew's Script-O-Rama
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)